When one of our loved ones comes to a terminal or nursing situation, all we have left to do is make sure he goes through it in the best possible way, without suffering. At the same time, our health is in danger. If we "eat ourselves", completely dedicate ourselves or oppose the situation, we can hurt ourselves and our health. Below is an example of how I managed to keep myself and my health in the situation I encountered:
My mother is in a nursing ward.
For months now she's been in one of two states either she's a zombie or she's crying out loud. For a while I tried to make her stop screaming in every way possible.
My positive intention was to calm her and her surroundings, as her screams were disturbing to everyone.
Out of trying to change her behavior, I actually opposed her.
With re-framing, I was able to see things at a new angle.
Since everything we do has a positive intention in it for us, apparently my mother wants to draw attention through her screams, and the screams may ease her condition, her pain, or at least she thinks so.
As soon as I "framed" her behavior for new reasons I hadn't thought of before, I began to accept her behavior, believing that she knew what was good for her and I was here to accept her as she was and to help her.
In any behavior that interferes, one can ascertain what the purpose is and find other behaviors that can lead to that same goal.
Create a new frame with different behavior.
And I'm here to help