Words can change you
It happens to me a lot in private life and in therapy, one word or one sentence cause the change. A patient claimed, I will continue, because I am supposed to love my mother, I asked - who said? Two words that made him think and changed his behavior. Another patient concentrates on the negative points in his life, even though they are only a few as opposed to the positive ones. My comment- we are experts in seeing the negative only, made the required impact, caused change. A son whose mother complains endlessly about his behavior, replied you were a good teacher, meaning he copied his behavior from her . His answer shocked the mother and changed her. NLP teaches methodically how to use words, how to answer, how to make a difference. Let us take, for example, a sentence that describes a limiting belief in order to make it disappear from our lives
The sentence: It will not last because the change happened too quickly. Possible answers : 1. General frame - You only say this because you do not understand the internal mechanism of real change and you are still captive to the old-fashioned opinions that prevailed when our grandmothers were young. 2. Self explanatory - This belief will not last long when you realize that you continue to change quickly and easily! 3. Self explanatory - you jump to conclusions too fast! 4. Analogy - So you say a dentist should drill more slowly? The best dentists are those who know how to work quickly without causing unnecessary pain to their customers! 5. Adhering to this belief - will cause your problems to take longer because you do not recognize the possibility of rapid change.
6. Redefining - it's not that it will not last, you'll just forget what happened before because the change was fast and efficient. 7. Redefining - It's not too fast, it's just the pace of effective work. It's really fast compared to the long time you have to wait for the results of cumbersome and outdated work. 8. Conclusion - So if change does not take many years is actually not worth the effort? 9. Positive intention - I know that you want to know that this change will remain yours forever. Let's see what you can do to make sure you know it. 10. Counter-example - do you know someone who has made a change and has remained so since then? Many discoveries of science were initially seen by people as miracles until they learned that there was logic behind them. 11. The perception of reality - how do you represent this belief for yourself? In pictures? Feelings? How can you recognize that you are wrong and the change will remain?
12. In the old world - where old tools were, it was true. Today, anyone involved in change understands that there are effective tools for short-term work and pays for them. No one wants to go the long way when there are far shorter ways today! 13. Go into details - How fast is it just too fast? How slowly should it be exactly? What is the exact pace of qualitative change? How long should a change take? 14. Focus on another issue - the issue is not whether the change is rapid or not, but rather that change has occurred and that it is possible! 15. Implications - Adhering to such a belief will cause your problems to take longer because you do not recognize the possibility of rapid change.
16. Hierarchy of Criteria - Don't you think it is more important that the change was deeper and more effective than measuring how long it took? 17. Change in frame size - many breakthroughs throughout the history of science have been met with skepticism. However, time has shown the validity of these changes. These are 17 ways in which a limiting belief can be reversed, negated, and made disappear from our lives. It is worthwhile for us to practice and feel the power of the words